


Big Star's Little Star

by Formula_Tea



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-19
Updated: 2015-03-21
Packaged: 2018-03-18 15:09:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3574268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Formula_Tea/pseuds/Formula_Tea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Much to their displeasure, Kimi and Sebastian have joined Felipe on the TV show "Big Star's Little Star" and are ready to squirm uncomfortably as their closely kept private lives are aired to the world through the mouths of their children. Only it isn't them who need to be worried.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ages have been changed just because making Robin old enough to be on a show like this would make Felipinho too old to be on a show like this so never mind.

“Hello and welcome to Big Star’s Little Star. Over the next hour we’ll be up close and personal with our favourite drivers and getting the low down from the little people who know them best. Their children. Tonight three fantastic kids tell us all sorts of revealing facts about their parents. And then, get grounded for their trouble.”

“We shouldn’t have done this,” Sebastian muttered back stage. One hand clutched Emily’s tightly. The other was curled into a fist at his side, his finger nails digging into the palm of his hand. He hadn’t wanted to do this in the first place, but Minttu had thought it was a good idea for Robin and Kimi and then Robin had convinced Emily and somehow, he didn’t know how, she’d managed to convince him this was a good idea. Years of keeping Emily and Hanna as far out of the lime light as possible was going out of the window.

 _It’s just a bit of fun_ , he tried to convince himself. Nobody was going to believe anything that came out of his little angel’s mouth. It was just a bit of fun. It was a bit of fun for charity.

Kimi forced himself to smile at Sebastian, feeling his friend’s pain. He’d put his foot down but, unfortunately, Minttu had put her foot down harder and it was no use.

At least Felipe seemed to be enjoying himself, though he was barely able to keep an excited Felipinho under control and was attracting dirty looks from the production staff.

“So, let’s get going and meet our first big and little star. He’s Ferrari’s last world champion and has left us with the some of the funniest radio messages in Formula One history. It’s Ferrari driver Kimi Räikkönen and his son, Robin.”

Kimi looked as if he was about to be sick as he was a led on set, Robin in his arms.

The presenter, whose name Kimi couldn’t remember even though it must have been said about twelve times during the build-up, gave the Finn the cheesiest grin Kimi had ever seen and welcomed him onto the show, and Kimi would rather sit in an entire season’s worth of press conferences than do this stupid show.

“Ok, let’s talk to little Robin then,” the presenter said, leaning over so his face was only a couple of inches from Robin’s. Robin glared at him, leaning back. “Hey, Robin, how are you?”

A little shy, Robin tried to hide his face in his father’s neck. “Mmm good,” he offered.

“And how old are you?”

“Four,” Robin said, rubbing his nose on the ball of his hand.

Kimi closed his eyes, bouncing Robin a little in the hope he didn’t start crying. The audience ‘aww’ed and Robin scowled at them.

“Right,” the presenter said, stepping back to speak to Kimi. “So, Kimi, how are you feeling about today?”

“Erm, it is possibly the scariest thing I have ever done,” Kimi said, honestly. “I do not want to be here.”

“Well, I don’t blame you,” the presenter laughed, slapping Kimi on the back. “Right, let’s hear it please for Kimi and Robin.”

Sebastian was taking deep breaths backstage. That didn’t seem that bad to him. Of course, neither of the Räikkönen boys were known for being particularly chatty, and Sebastian didn’t think he was going to be able to get away with saying so little. God what had he done?

“Are you ok?” Felipe asked, unhelpfully.

“I’m fine,” Sebastian lied.

Felipe offered him a smile before letting the producer lead him away from the panicking German.

“Right, lets meet our next driver,” the presenter said. “He’s a little Brazilian sunshine and here today with an even littler one. It’s Felipe Massa and his son, Felipinho.”

Felipinho had been excited about the TV show for months and nearly bounced down the steps at the back of the set to take his spot in the limelight, Felipe hurrying after him.

“How are you?”

“Am brilliant, thank you,” Felipe said, grinning. He stood behind his son with his hands on Felipinho’s shoulders in an attempt to stop him bouncing so much. “Have both been looking forward to this for a while.”

“Let’s talk to you first,” the presenter said, kneeling down so he was at Felipinho’s height. “How are you feeling, Felipinho? Are you excited?”

“Yep!” Felipinho grinned, trying not to bounce.

“And how old are you?”

“Six.”

“Cool. And what’s the best thing, do you think, about Daddy?”

Felipinho looked up at his father, jogging his memory a little, thinking slowly. A little too slowly.

“Do you have an answer?” the presenter asked, laughing.

“That he’s going to make us win,” Felipinho said, confidently.

“It’s not a competition,” Felipe laughed, even though he was as confident in that as Felipinho was.

“Right, well,” the presenter laughed. “What happens if you don’t win?”

“That won’t happen,” Felipinho said.

“Well, then, the pressure’s on,” the presenter said, standing. “Felipe, obviously in Formula One you have to have a competitive nature. Do you think that’s going to come through today?”

“Well,” Felipe said, struggling to stop Felipinho from bouncing so much. “Think there are maybe some people here who are even more competitive than me.”

He grinned, thinking about how conflicted Sebastian would be, wanting to win but not wanting to reveal too much about his family.

“I think you might be right,” the presenter said. “Let’s here it please, for Felipe and Felipinho.”

“Daddy?” Emily asked, sweetly as they were being shown to their places about to go on set.

“Yeah princess?” Sebastian asked, crouching down beside her.

“You’re not scared, are you?” Emily asked.

“No,” Sebastian laughed. “Of course not.”

“You can hold my hand if you’re scared,” Emily said, offering her father her hand.

Sebastian sighed and smiled before taking Emily’s hand. It would probably be better to just get this over with.

“It’s Sebastian Vettel, with his daughter, Emily.”

Emily had to lead Sebastian down the steps to the presenter. He smiled, like he always did on these stupid PR activities, but he was pretty sure everyone would be able to tell how much he was hating every second of things right now.

He should have said no. He should not have agreed to do this.

“Hey, Seb, are you alright?”

“Yeah, great, thanks.”

“Right, let’s chat to our little star,” the presenter got onto his knees once more and Sebastian took another deep breath, letting his smile fall now the cameras weren’t on him. “How are you Emily? You alright?”

“Yeah,” Emily said, grinning.

“How old are you, Emily?”

“Five,” Emily said, holding up five fingers with the hand that wasn’t clutching onto her father’s.

“Five. And how excited are you about being on the TV tonight?”

“Very excited.”

“Right, Sebastian,” the presenter said, standing. “You’ve been quite good at keeping your personal life out of the press. Do you think this was the best TV show to come on?”

Sebastian took a deep breath, stalling himself and trying to come up with a polite answer, but he didn’t have one.

“No,” he said, honestly, letting himself laugh a little.

The short answer got the usual laughs and the presenter looked like he was about to ask another question when one of the producers signalled to move on.

“Of course,” he said. “Let’s hear it for Sebastian and Emily.”

“Good luck everyone. It’s time for the first game. Grown ups, this one is just for you so we’re going to ask the children to go back stage to your special room and we’ll come and speak to you all later. Bye.”

The children hoped off of their parents’ laps and Felipinho led the three of them back off of the set, Emily holding Robin’s hand protectively.

Sebastian wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans, panicking immediately. There was no backing out of this, he knew. He’d already thought about that way too many times since it became too late, though. This was not, in any way, shape, or form, a good idea.

“So, back stage, our little stars can’t hear or see anything,” the presenter explained. “So, guys, you can relax now. Right, the first game. We’ve asked the children some revealing questions about their fathers. All the drivers have to do is decide which answer their bundle of joy gave us. Kimi, we’re going to start with you.”

Kimi mentally groaned. The only thing that was stopping him from groaning aloud was that Minttu was watching and he was trying to keep her sweet at the moment.

“We asked Robin: what could Daddy not live without?”

That didn’t seem so bad, Kimi thought. A lot better than he thought could come up.

“Did he say: his family? His ice cream? His friends? Or Mummy and me?”

The audience ‘aww’ed again, but Kimi knew there was no way Robin would have said that. That wasn’t so bad. The only question in there that would distinguish him from anybody else would be ice cream and that wasn’t at all revealing.

Kimi nodded when the presenter did, giving him a cue to speak, but he didn’t know what to say just yet, none of them really sounded like Robin, mainly because Robin didn’t sound like much at all.

“Let’s go through the list,” the presenter suggested. “His family?”

“I care about my family,” Kimi reasoned.

The present waited for him to divulge, but he said nothing more, so he was just left nodding.

“His ice cream?” he continued.

“Do not like ice cream as much as everyone says,” Kimi reasoned. “Is a good way to cool off on the track and it tastes good. Is not like this is all I eat. Do not think Robin would say that.”

Robin wouldn’t say that. He barely even watched Formula One, and the only way he would even think to say that would be if someone told him to.

“His friends,” the presenter continued. “Now, we know you’re very good friends with Seb here.”

“Yeah, I get on well with Sebastian,” Kimi said. “I like my friends. Is maybe something I like more than the others.”

“More than Minttu and Robin?”

“Well, obviously not,” Kimi said, rolling his eyes. This was stupid. “But I do not think Robin would say that. Think Robin would probably say his friends.”

“So you’re going with friends?” the presenter asked, wanting confirmation.

“Yeah.”

“Let’s find out.”

A screen played a pre-recorded clip of the presenter asking Robin what Kimi couldn’t live without. Once again, he seemed to get a little too close to Robin, and the child backed away, what was becoming his trade mark glare fixed on the presenter.

“His friends,” Robin said, eventually, which called for a clap and cheer from the audience. Kimi rolled his eyes again.

“Right,” the presenter said, bringing the cameras back onto him. “Felipe, let’s move onto you. We asked Felipinho: What’s Daddy’s biggest secret?”

“And he said,” Felipe jumped in before the answers could come up. “My daddy doesn’t have any secrets.”

“Not quite,” the presenter said, grinning. “Did he say: he doesn’t give me any baths? He sometimes lets other people win when he’s racing? Did he say: he kisses people who aren’t mummy? Or did he say: he eats mummy’s chocolate?”

Everyone was silent and suddenly Felipe got the feeling it probably wasn’t such a good idea to come on this show.

“Right, well…” He didn’t know where to begin.

“Let’s start with baths, shall we?” the presenter suggested, noticing how stumped the Brazilian was.

“Ok,” Felipe said. There was no point getting worked up about it when Felipinho probably hadn’t even said that. “I do give him baths. Is just… He will flood the bathroom brushing his teeth. And, when I am at home, Raffaela and I take it in turns to give him a bath and… I don’t when it is my turn. We go and… is nothing disgusting. Give him a sponge bath but do not want to flood the house so there is not a tub full of water.”

That wasn’t the one he had a problem with and he knew it.

“Now,” the presenter said. “He lets other people win when he’s racing? Surely there’s a rule against that.”

“Think there is,” Felipe said. “Think he must mean when we are doing racing. Because sometimes I let him win when we are racing together. Is a kid, you know. Have to let them win sometimes. For sure, have never let anyone win a race in F1.”

Well… no, he wasn’t going to say anymore on that matter.

“He kisses people who aren’t mummy,” the presenter continued, a grin on his face.

“Have no idea what he is talking about,” Felipe said, slowly. He did. He did know exactly what Felipinho would have been talking about if this were the answer. “Erm, have spent a lot of time in Italy and they are a little more – how do you say? – they give more hugs and things there. So maybe he means that. I don’t know.”

“So not that one.”

“Definitely not that one,” Felipe said.

“And he steals mummy’s chocolate.”

“Do this,” Felipe admitted. “And Raffaela gets a little annoyed but I always replace it. Is not that big a deal.”

“Not quite as big a deal as kissing someone else,” the presenter suggested.

“Yeah,” Felipe said.

“So which one are you going to go for?”

“Will have to say… will have to say that I do not give him a bath,” Felipe said. “Just because he knows he has to keep this a secret.”

Again, a screen played a pre-recorded clip of the presenter asking Felipinho the same question.

Felipinho grinned the grin of a child who knew he was going to be grounded for approximately forever but didn’t care.

“He kisses people who aren’t mummy.”

Silence in the studio again. He was dead when he got home. Very dead.

“And who would this be?” the presenter asked.

“Have said, I do not know,” Felipe said, laughing a little in the hope that they would believe that.

“Why don’t we ask Felipinho,” the presenter suggested. The screen showed a live picture of a little play room where the three children seemed to be making a play-doh monster. “Felipinho? We’ve just heard you say daddy kisses people who aren’t mummy. Which people?”

“Sometimes,” Felipinho said, not looking up from the monster. “He kisses Tio Wob.”

“Rob,” Felipe said, trying to sound like a man who wasn’t trying to hide anything. “He is my friend and was my engineer at Ferrari.”

“And you kiss him,” the presenter said, trying to clarify.

“No,” Felipe said. “Have hugged him, though, and Felipinho must think this.”

“No, papa,” Felipinho said. “You kissed him.”

“Let’s move on.” Felipe suggested.

Sebastian grinned. After that, he couldn’t really have that much to worry about.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's not as long as last time, but here's another one.

“We asked Emily what’s Daddy’s favourite thing to do?”

Even if there was nothing for Sebastian to worry about – nothing as bad as what had already been said – he was still squirming uncomfortably when the presenter’s attention was brought onto him.

“Did she say: racing? Did she say playing badminton? Maybe she said winning. Or did she say playing tea party?”

That wasn’t so bad, Sebastian thought. It was nothing anybody didn’t know about him, and nothing concerning her and Hanna really. Nothing to worry about.

“Well, racing,” the presenter said. “That’s a given, right?”

“Yeah,” Sebastian said. “And Emily knows I love racing, so she might have said that.”

“Playing badminton?”

“Yeah, she might say that,” Sebastian said, looking down at his shoes. “Do not think she would say that over racing though. And winning…” He grinned. “For sure, I do like winning, but Emily has not seen Daddy winning so much, so I do not think she would say that.”

“And playing tea part?” the presenter asked.

“This is definitely Emily’s favourite thing to do,” Sebastian said. “And sometimes she drags me into it to.”

 _Sometimes_ , Kimi thought with a smirk. The amount of times he’d walked into the Vettel household to find his friend being poured imaginary tea he couldn’t count. Robin could forget about getting him involved in any of that. He would have to invite Uncle Seb around for that.

“So would Emily say you liked playing tea parties more than you like racing?” the presenter asked.

“I don’t know,” Sebastian said. “Because you have to be enthusiastic with children, don’t you? So maybe she will think I like tea parties more than racing?”

 _Yes_ , Kimi thought. _That’s why she would think that._

“What are you going to go for?”

“I’m going to go for racing,” Sebastian said.

The screen played again, playing the clip of Emily and the cheesy presenter, him asking what Sebastian’s favourite thing to do was.

Emily thought for a moment, before smiling. “Racing.”

This required a clap from the studio audience, apparently and Sebastian wriggled back in his chair, clearly pleased with himself. Maybe this game was as bad as he thought it was.

“Alright, Kimi, second question.”

The Finn mentally groaned again. It couldn’t be that much longer could it? The things he did for Minttu…

“We asked Robin what’s Daddy’s favourite thing to do when Mummy isn’t home?” the presenter said. “But what did Robin say? Did he say you like to take a nap? How about he sings to my Disney songs? Or could he have said you put the sports on? Or did Robin say he hides Mummy’s shoes.”

Kimi nodded. He’d done all those things, at one point or another. He wasn’t going to _admit_ to doing all those things though. And at least one of the options wasn’t fucking his engineer.

“So, naps,” the presenter prompted, and Kimi got the feeling he wasn’t used to doing this much work.

“Robin and I sometimes take naps,” Kimi said.

“And singing Disney songs?”

“Have done this,” Kimi admitted. He wasn’t going to go any further into that though. They didn’t need to know how much Robin giggled at his singing.

“You put the sports on?” the presenter asked. “I guess the missus doesn’t like it as much.”

“Not so much, no,” Kimi said. “I sometimes flick over to see how a game is going but normally when Mummy is not in the house then Robin is in charge of the TV.”

“And hiding Mummy’s shoes?” the presenter asked. “Why would you do that?”

Kimi shot a look across Felipe to Sebastian. He was the only one who knew he did that and it must have been him who told him. Sebastian just grinned at him and Kimi made a mental note to get back at him for that at some point.

“Am not exactly the tallest person in the world,” Kimi began.

“Yeah, well, none of you are, really,” the presenter pointed out, making the audience laugh and Kimi mentally groan because he had _never_ heard a joke about his height before.

“Am not exactly the tallest person in the world,” Kimi repeated. “And can sometimes be dwarfed by Minttu’s shoes. So I-.”

“You hide the tallest heels?” the presenter asked, grinning, and he wondered why Kimi didn’t give long answers when every time he tried to give one he was cut off.

“I make it easier for her to wear shorter shoes,” Kimi finished.

“Right, so, which one do you think Robin said?”

“He probably said singing,” Kimi said. It was the only one Robin would say.

And, of course, he was right. Robin giggled at the memory of his father singing, forgetting he didn’t like this show or the presenter for a moment and managing to go the entire clip without scowling at him.

The audience clapped as Kimi was awarded another point and the presenter turned to Felipe, who looked as if he would rather die than answer another question right now.

“Look at it this way, it can’t get worse,” the presenter said with a knowing smile.

“You say this,” Felipe mumbled.

“Well, it can only get worse if you’ve been caught doing worse,” the presenter said, his smile growing.

“Can we just do the question?” Felipe asked. Both of Kimi’s and Seb’s hadn’t been so bad. Maybe he’d just had a bad question.

“Alright, alright,” the presenter said, grinning. “We asked Felipinho: what’s the silliest thing Daddy has ever done?”

“Kissed his engineer,” Sebastian muttered with a grin, which gained him a laugh from the audience and a glare from Felipe.

“Let’s see what Felipinho could have said, shall we?” the presenter said. “Did he say: He pretends to sleep in my bed? Could he have said: He tells fibs? Or maybe he said: He does a dance when he’s cooking and spills the food. Or did Felipinho say the silliest thing you’ve ever done is stayed at a party all night without mummy.”

“I wonder who he was with,” Sebastian muttered, not loud enough for the presenter to hear, but enough to be rewarded from another scowl from Felipe. At this rate, he was going to beat Robin’s record of most scowls in a minute.

“So,” the presenter said. “You pretend to sleep in his bed.”

“I have done that,” Felipe said. “And it really annoys him, so he might have said that.”

“Why does it annoy him?”

“Have no idea,” Felipe said, forcing a laugh. “He is not a morning person. Think this runs in the family.”

“You tell fibs. Do you tell fibs, Felipe?”

“Sometimes little ones,” Felipe said. He wasn’t even going to look at Sebastian. He didn’t want to know what nasty comment the German had this time. “Are not horrible fibs. Like funny fibs. Not any that anybody would believe.”

“He does a dance when he’s cooking and spills the food,” the presenter said.

“Pretends to spill the food,” Felipe corrected him, easing up a little. Maybe he was alright now, and the worst was behind him. “Like Kimi said, you do things to make them laugh, you know. So, might have said this.”

“And you spend all night partying, without mummy,” the presenter asked.

“I haven’t done this,” Felipe said. “Ok, have gone to parties without Raffaela when I travel and she stays at home but I do not know why Felipinho would say this. He is not there either.” “So, which do you think it is?” the presenter asked.

“I will have to say the first one, he sits in my bed,” Felipe said. “Just because he gets really annoyed about that.”

 _Please let it be that one_ , Felipe thought as the presenter waffled and played the clip. He didn’t know how bad any of these answers could be, but he knew Felipinho could exceed all expectations when he wanted to.

“Felipinho, what’s the silliest thing your daddy has done?”

“Erm…”Felipinho said, slowly.

_Please, or else your mum is going to kill me._

“He pretends to sleep in my bed.”

The sigh of relief Felipe let out was audioable from across the TV set, he was sure, and he made no effort to keep it from his face. Just a dud question. That was all.

**Author's Note:**

> I might continue this later. Let me know what you think.


End file.
